I used to feel really uncomfortable in all kinds of social situations. I would often want to get out of situations where I might have to say something to people I didn’t know too well. Or worst yet I would fear someone would ask something from me and I’d have no idea what to answer. You have to realise you are not the only one with the problem. First you have to accept you have a problem. If you keep denying that there’s a problem, it’ll keep persisting and you won’t ever grow as a person. Realise it’s a process to get rid of it. Nobody becomes a good talker or listener overnight. It’s okey to be silent. You don’t have to have something to say about everything. If you don’t agree with someone, you don’t need to say it outloud if you don’t want to create a uncomfortable situation for yourself. If you remain silent, it also can be a way of saying you might not agree with them. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. The image you have of yourself matters the most. Don’t let other people decide your worth.
There’s many kinds of people. Some feel very uncomfortable in a group conversation. Some have problems talking to only one person. Call them introvert, lone wolf, odd, crazy, weirdo. The names don’t matter. The world just isn’t ready for their way of thinking yet. If you are left out of a group, it’s not about you not being worth being in that certain group, it’s about the group not being worth of you. You are worth invaluable amount. Don’t let just 1, 2, 3 or more people decide whether you are worth being in their presence. If they don’t want you being in their presence, they are missing out on alot. It’s their problem not being able to take everyone in consideration. It’s something they’ll have to work on. Give them that time. Be by yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Become the best friends with yourself and learn to love yourself. If there’s something you don’t like about yourself, start to work on it. It might be you not liking your eating or exercising habits or you don’t like how you use majority of your free time. Realise that you are good enough just the way you are right now and start to work on the sides of yourself you aren’t happy with. Start from very small changes and don’t give up. It’ll all pay off later with big interest. Once you learn to love yourself, you’ll attract the right people into your life. You don’t have to put on a act just to please someone. Just be yourself. If they won’t like you as you, how would they like you as you trying to act something else. Yea that way you might attract alot of fake friends, but they are there only because they feel so bad about themselves and are trying to lead you away from your life’s purpose.
Ways to become a better talker is first off not always taking yourself so seriously. Take in the feedback you get. Don’t only talk when you want to say the absolute truth (and there is no absolute truth in this world), you’ll get mad fast because not everyone will agree with you everytime. You might only surround yourself subconsciously with people who never disagree with you. That’s not good if you want to grow as a person. Learn to laugh at yourself. There might be people who don’t want you to have a good time. They don’t want to see you laughing at their expense because they don’t have very good relationship with themselves. Become an alchemist. Cheer people up, help them with their problems. Don’t look down on people. Ask how someone is really doing and then try to be compassionate instead of judgemental. What waits for you is world full of wonders once you accept yourself the way you are currently and always seek for ways to improve yourself. By not having impossible expectations on other people you will get surprised. If you are battling with this problem, I hope this post helped you in some way. 🙂
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